Chronicles of a Strong, Independent, Cry Baby
I genuinely don't know if there's anyone alive that enjoys being single as much as I do, but this blog post is not about that today. Today, is a blog post about the parts of singledom that I don't like and the parts of a partnership that I miss. Enjoy, and thanks for being here.
Two years ago, on July 1st, 2024, my long term partner & I (plus our puppy) headed out on an epic 16-day road trip through CA, OR, and WA. You can imagine the amount of planning and preparation that went into that but the work didn't seem that bad split between two people.
Fast forward to today, July 3rd, 2026, I am frozen by the thought of the (what seems like) endless amount of tasks I need to do to prepare for this teeny-tiny road trip my dog & I are (supposed to be) heading out on tomorrow before sunrise. In all honesty, we were supposed to be on the road this morning buuuuut, I was exhausted last night and I don't like to rush or stress so the plan was to spend today getting ready to be able to head out tomorrow but as I mentioned earlier, I am frozen by the thought of everything I have to do when I just want to nap.
Since my break up, I have gone on TWO (sad) road trips with just my dog and I, and I say "sad" because both trips were only 24 hours long. This is coming from someone who camped and road tripped any chance we got while I was in a relationship. On both solo road trips, I ended up forgetting necessary items like propane so I wasn't able to cook (LOL), and I forgot to charge multiple gadgets like lanterns, headlamps, and power banks, which made for a less-than-pleasant experience. You know what I didn't forget though? My book :) haha, essentials, DUH.
While the time I spent alone and outdoors was still very much worth it, I did find myself crying and frustrated to not have someone to share the responsibilities with.
All the packing and unpacking? Me.
All the to-do-lists? Me.
All the setting up and breaking down? Me.
All the driving? Me.
It's not just the physical load of road tripping and camping, it's the mental load.
It's planning meals for myself and counting the days of food I need to pack for my dog, it's making sure I'm prepared with all my safety gear because you never know what you might encounter on the road, it's researching things to do and places to stay, it's checking the weather to make sure you're not caught off guard, it's checking for any road closures, it's preparing Frida (my car) and doing my tire checks and getting an oil change, it's remembering to buy ice a few days ahead to pre-cool the cooler (IYKYK!!), it's making a list and checking it twice, and then checking it again another 7 times.
Sigh.
When I was in a relationship, my partner and I each had our tasks. We had our strengths and weaknesses and we found a way to split tasks seamlessly.
He would set up and break down the tent and our sleep system.
I would set up the kitchen, our cooking system, and set the mood with our string lights.
I would start the campfire during dinner, he would put it out at bedtime.
He would cook, I would eat.
JK, I would also clean!
These days, I find myself being Big Dawg more often than not, but sometimes, I don't want to be Big Dawg, I just want to be baby girl.
I miss being able to turn my brain off and know that someone else could handle things for a bit. I miss knowing that if I ran into trouble on the road, I had someone there to navigate it with. Unexpected storm? No worries, we just re-route and swing it. Tire Pressure light just went off at 10p on a dirt road in Olympic National Forest? No problem, we had a tire inflator, and the man even took the time to use the opportunity as a teaching moment and showed me that in order to locate the hole, you can spray the tire with a little soapy water and look for the bubbling. He then proceeded to DUCT TAPE my tire which BTW, made it all the way back to Vancouver, WA without leaking any air. I was impressed to say the least.
Had that shit happened to me on a solo road trip? I would have been F*CKED.
There's a reason why I have roadside assistance HAHA.
With that being said, although there were some amazing perks that I very much do miss from being in a partnership, I also know that my last partnership was still lacking and it wasn't always the partnership I needed or I guess I'd probably still be there if it was huh?
I refuse to settle for just anyone all because I miss the good parts or for the sake of having someone by my side.
I'm confident that one day I'll have a partner again and this time I have a much more clear understanding of what I'm looking for in a partnership, but until then, I'm just going to complain about the not-so-fun parts of being single.
I look forward to being Passenger Princess again.
For now, I gotta go be Big Dawg and get started on this mountain of to-do items if we (Lemon & I) want to be out on the road tmr ;'>
Talk soon.
Take care.
-Tu Amiga Amy <3